| |  Mark
just now finished the cover to Ted Allan in Spain: the
movie! I'm quite chuffed and (believe me,
it looks better as he did it,
it looks fantastic) I've sent (A
VERSION) it back to chapter 2. (FOR
NOW THE ORIGINAL HAS DISAPPEARED...
So
many stories to tell I'm afraid I'm opening more
more stories appearing then are getting wrapped
up
let me speak then of things disappearing
though
I've still stories to tell ~ there's a passed life story.
Ez  is
in that in a way and that's
a long story
~ and there's the psychic lover tale
Jay
Kay was my partner a decade or so talked
to trees Bless them and they bless you back It's
instant, like a mirror, an echo … oh, and
she talked to the Devil. Called Him "the Big Fellow", "Butters
His pride," she said.
The
dog's came from Jay Kay… End
some stories! cut some threads...
Oh here's one towards closure
the first night with Jacinta tussling and anything…
in the morning the hook of Jay's earring was snagged
through the string of my mala, tumbled there in the bed. (1)
"No,no, no," I said. "Don't untangle them."
So much for ritual, pooh who not
everything's an omen a
list... of
disappearing things… along
with ~ kisses
~ the carpets and hopefully the spiders
bites. I'm going to sleep upstair tonight, in the little room,
for the first time after two months camped in the sitting room downstairs. Hopefully
the lurgi is not lurking. (2)
~ the dogs beagle,
burning.
the
beagle comes
the
beagle comes
the beagle goes
the
beagle goes
dry
cedar leaf
dry
cedar leaf
burning
burning
~
oh, and I once disappeared acupuncture points… electronically, anyway. When
I first meet Pomeranz… he invited me to the lab to talk, and then to join
himself and Raymond Shu (3) searching
for acupuncture points. They were in a faraday cage enthusiastically looking for
the electrical signs of the points… (They say the points have a low electrical
resisitance) but I said show me… and went to
look at the books (the journals)
There were
(mainly) two types of electrode: wet and dry. With the wet/moist electrodes resistance
depends on the exact size of the contact, and you can't control that exactly.
The noise with the dry probes were, yes, still the area of contact, but also (4)
pressure, and the duration of the probing.
So
Bruce's best of both worlds, which we built, was a Millipore filter (5)
over the end of glass tubing, with saline in the tube ("metered moisture"
Bruce said grandly): (an oxide coated silver electrode in the saline) … and
complex circuitry to pass and record nanoamps ….
Test
run. The skin under the nose (lip) (6) has roughly half the resistance of the
cheek… and then on the cheek, on my cheek, we found points near zero (ohms).
Bruce ran to get the binocular glass to visual inspect . Could this it be the
illusive acupuncture point? Are we finding the Yeti or Nessy and all? No. "It's
a little shaving abrasion." said Bruce, and then he cried, "An abrasion
detector ! Oh. I see where to go. We should study the points after the needle
comes out!" and he explained, "There's a voltage across the skin, so
when we needle it and after the needle comes out, there will be a current flowing.
Ah ha… it's the Zen of acupuncture! It's not the needle, it's the hole!"
So we had, for the moment, disappeared the low electrical resistance reported
in the literature for acupuncture points. But, Bruce had discovered/discerned
a second mechanism of acupuncture's physiologically effects: the "current
of injury" (7) spurs healing.
(8) (9)
I
once asked Bruce how much of acupuncture he thought could be explained through
the neurotransmitter mechanisms he had discovered. "Perhaps ten percent,"
he estimated. And through current of uinjury? "Perhaps five." And the
rest? "Another of life's mysteries."
Disappearing
things…
~ Darrell's hat.
Darrell's hat is disappearing
it's mangled shrunk, deformed,
it just don't fit. I
wore it two years - it drew comments often it was
the perfect felt hat - neither fedora nor homburg but
something from beyond the lost arc - but the spider's got it - sort of… as
the threat of the lurgi and the devil's wicked spiders bit me to distraction and
I washed everything, everything right now! the hat a second time - no a
third, last year at the Monastery, and after this summer's second wash it was
ripped and stripped of its band and
shrunk it didn't fit. Stacy (10)
at the funeral, gave me the hat but said she wanted it back when I was finished
with it, or when I was gone. I said, I will wear it to bits. She said,
I want the bits.
I couldn't find the photo
of Darrell in his hat this morning. I rescued the hat from the basement (11)
and photo.ed it. 
I
wrote D two poems while he was alive and one in requiem. - I'm not sure how much
I like them
but Darrell did…
Darrell:
one Why?
I
don't know
somebody picks on my arse
I know what the question is
I
don't know the response
I'm just seeing a molehill
there are no more mountains
in the way
Why? | |
| | Pick
it apart for me
I see
he's doing another one
It's on the dissection table D'ja
see that
D'ja
see that
he
snapped
No. I missed it
I missed it completely | |
Darrell
escaped a miserable childhood, his turbulent teens fleeing Vancouver
at 16. Worked his way across the country as a roustabout I
think that's what you call the people who fix and tend the rides at the funfair
… Darrell was18 when he got to the Ex in Toronto.
(12) He connected with Bob, and
through him met us. Were my Jessi and Seth 16, 14 ?
Darrell became virtual family a while, and like a son and a
brother thereafter…
When I wrote my second
short story, 1989, Heroes,
about Spanish Frank -
Darrell said, later, he was a little
peeved with how pleased I was with myself, so he wrote Stardust Theatre to show
anyone could do it. It's in there with the page I put up for Darrell
in memorium… and
the posthumous poem… here or in a link?
in a link, I think, Dee
I don't remember joy
when I was a boy
but didn't the days run on
 Oh,
and Dee wasn't called Dee… He was Darrell, or Buck. Dee's
disappeared, though I've got someof his ashes, and there are little bits of his
work, or gifts, little bits of him all over the house. The dog doors, that I've
now taped in… oh, a tear for Dee and the dogs. I
should take photos of the Sitting Room, and tell the Jesus poem. In a minute... Sunday
Nov 16th 2014. Slept upstairs three nights now (in the small room) - so far so
good.
Painted at the
A&LC this morning 
And
I wrote a poem last week, and have been polishing it who's
voice is this
it's
funny
who
speaks
the cockney boy's not me
it's
a memory of my teens
tithing my tongue
to
a person
and it's not me
i'm
american ashkenazi
ash can nazi my dear lord
our mortal enemy 's
branded
into?onto our name and
i'm tripping down some
freudian and paranoid
satanically insignificant
red
herring it's funny
who
speaks
it's never
quite
me  February,
1989. In the days following MAME's visit, as I left the Science library, where
I had gone to learn of bone and crystals, emerging on to the steps leading down
to the circle of grass that is the "quad"  (quadrangle)
of King's College Circle… there was a man in a blue blazer and cap on the
lawn with two bent metal rods dowsing! (You
hold the rods and wait for them to move, to cross!) Emblazed on the blazer and
cap, the U of T logo. A middle aged man, Charles Braid, the University's chief
engineer in charge of plumbing. "I'm dowsing for the sprinkler heads,"
he explained when asked. "We are going to dig them up. We're changing the
system."
So
I explained to him how I had just realized that we sense these things, electric
fields, in our bones. And he went on to tell me that he was going
to take a map/a plan of King's College Circle home that evening and dowse with
a "pendulum" for the plastic hoses. He could only dowse for the metal
sprinkler heads with the rods. (Oh, I must tell you of Pomeranz
thoughts on dowsing.)
And how did we seque (13)
to homeopathy, robust in Biology but frail in Earth Science. "What's the
bridge?" Jacinta would say. I say "tangent" but that's missing
the bridge, where's that confounded bridge? …
I told Charles about MAMEs experiment, how it was robust in the old botany building,
 (14)
but frailer in the new Earth Science Building on Huron (it took several weeks
they had to tweak the protocol before they recovered
the phenomenon/ anomaly.) Charles spoke of how Taddle Creek
ran underground under the botany building just eight foot down, and
how there are "electrical anomalies" in the land up on Huron Street,
and innumerate for me many differences between the two locals. (15)
But
let me stress that while it took the group many weeks to produce the ultradilution
DNA dot blot effects in the new building, they did recover it. And, everyone in
MAME's group who attempted the procedure (there were four of them) had positive
results. The phenomenon never disappeared! It's simply been forgotten, ignored. Was
meeting Charles Braid another "synchronicity"? It was certainly serendipitous.
But I had to hie, to hurry on to another meeting I'd set up
with Fredrick Lowy…
As I've mentioned,
perhaps too often, I thought that the ultradilute DNA dot blots were massively
important - everyone should know about them - and there were handful of people
I knew who I felt should know about them… But MAME had approached us in confidence!
Yet, I thought, this information has to shared! I told Bruce Pomeranz that I had
an ethical conundrum and that I needed to speak to somebody smart with such stuff.
He sent me to Professor Lowy. Googling him you'll find that "He served
as Dean of the Faculty of Medicine from 1980 to 1987. He was the founder and first
Director of the University's Centre for Bioethics."
Prof.
Lowy listened well and said that, in his opinion, the information, the ultradilute
dot blots, didn't belong to AbouHaidar: it / they belonged to science, though
AbouHaidar was due respect, he added.
I sent
a letter to Brian Goodwin (a theoretical biologist) (17),
Dana Ullman (a high profile homeopath) and a handful of others. ..
In
1992, when Elizabeth Huston and I went to talk to Menir AbouHaidar about the work,
he told me he had been pissed off… angered. So it goes.
Back
in 1989, Menir, at our urging, sent his work, the dot blots, to Nature - The journal.
They sat on it for months, four month. "Phone them," we said. "Yes,
yes," said Nature, "We'll have it refereed." So, for now, we can
add the dot blots to our list of things that have disappeared. Oh;
back to the point finder, the abrasion detector… Later we, Bruce sent me
to use our skin resistance (metered moisture, no less) on "standard wounds",
the healing of… can we follow the process with/as resistance? I got to watch
hip and knee replacements (17),
and then follow up in the hospital and at the rehab. inst. oh,
a couple of dozen patients and it worked just fine except
the wounds crack as it were crack
open the resistance falls and these reversals are pretty frequent and pretty random
so its not useful information
let it disappear.
Oh.
and I should mention that MAME's anomaly never disappeared though it almost vanishing
from human consciousness but it never failed to
be found when looked for… and I still have the few dot blots Eweida gave
me. They have not turned into mice and pumpkins
A
short while ago I was at a New Age.y (sic) thing…. they were singing kirtan
- "holy" Hindu songs (18)
- and one presenter had us chanting So ham, which
she translated as "I am". And that didn't sound right., so I went first
to wikipedia… wiki-says:
so'ham is an emphatic form of aham, the first-person
pronoun ("I") aham
= I asmi
= am
AHAM
ASMI I
AM
and:
wikisays...
"Some
say that when a child is born it cries Koham-Koham which means Who am I?
That is when the universe replies So'ham."
And
why I mention this here is because I was so pleased with what I'd teased out of
wiki that I went and looked up Nirvana. which
wiki tells us is a Seattle based grunge-rock band, of course, but Nirvana/Nibanna
was effing amazing, and I want to end, to disappear this chapter with this
poem I found in wiki… Wikisays
Nirvana Nibbana
wikisays:
Nirvana
/ Nibbana literally means "blown out" like a candle ni
out, without, away from va
blow, as
a wind; or
waft as
an odor
na not,
never, nor
van desire, love, win. procure, possess,
conquer,
grasp,
clench van tree,
thicket, quantity, wood
and va can mean weave
gatê
gatê gone gone
Nirvana
/ Nibbana
wikisays:
Nirvana
/ Nibbana means blown away
like
a candle's flame
ni
out, without, away from va
blow, as
a wind; waft
odor
na not,
never, nor
van desire, love, grasp van tree,
thicket, quantity, wood
and va can mean weave
gatê
gatê paragatê parasamgatê
bodhi swaha
Nirvana
/ Nibbana wikisays:
it's literally "blown out"
like a candle ni
out, without, away from va
blow, as
a wind
na not,
never, nor
van desire, love, win, gain, procure,
conquer, possess,
grasp,
clench van tree,
thicket, quantity, wood
va weave
gatê
gatê gone
chapter
9 sources |
